It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
