I skipped work to stalk him.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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