too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
