My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
