i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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