Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
