I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
