How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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