I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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