but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
