@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
not ubering you a puppy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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