If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
