First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
