There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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