No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
