i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm too high and old for this...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
