i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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