I wanna passion pit in your ass
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
