I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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