that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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