You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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