It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
