the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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