What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
