If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
