I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
