Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
