No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there was a trapeze. enough said
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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