I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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