I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
