it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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