you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
