so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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