"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
