At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
