there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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