i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
