And to think..we used to do everything sober...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
