My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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