final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
