Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
