Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
