Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
