i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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