You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
