If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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