Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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