some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
