You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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