i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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