physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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