Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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