I'm eating all of the evidence.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
