I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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