every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
