remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
